4 Ways I Freakin Died!

So as a writer of commentary, I like the idea of slipping in an unexpectedly trendy verb or adjective when the reader least expects it. It’s sort of like walking into a familiar room in Nana’s house, but Nana is in her favorite chair, smoking a joint.

The Red Sox Won! They’re Dead, I’m Dead,

We’re All Freakin’ Dead!

Marsh Brodeur

I like to start my search for new trends in writing styles at the social media level. It typically takes mainstream media weeks or months to adopt a new idiom, just in time for the cool kids to not be using it any more.

There are two such over-used headline idioms that really bug me. They started in social media and were quickly picked up and beat to death by the lame-stream media. One is: “5 Ways To…” “6 Steps To…” “8 Times You…”

5 Ways You Are Really Aggravating Me

Apparently, folks need to know their exact level of commitment in the header before just jumping into some five-sentence paragraph of strange content.  “5 Ways… OK fine, but it better not be 6, I could be watching 10 memes right now.”

The second headline trend I find especially icky, but I see it everywhere, is using death as an exclamation of pure joy. A quote from the Huff Post: “Michele Obama Crashed My Book Club and I Died”! 

Pats Win The Superbowl! I Got Rigor Mortis!

If you are old, then wanting to die was a phrase you used if you did something really embarrassing. If you are young “Death,” in the Urban Dictionary, means hilarious, like “died laughing.” First Person: “If that guy had a thought, it would succumb to loneliness.” Second Person: “Death.” This use, I understand, but death as pure joy is a tough one for me to get my head around.

That being said, I do realize that if I want to remain relevant, I need to adapt and adopt.

Raiders Get Antonio Brown and I Got a Display Ad

In the Obituaries!

Clearly, I have the hang of this. But I still need a catch phrase that is uniquely mine. Something that is hip but international in flavor, that I could use in Baseball, Soccer, Curling, all of it.

Well, once again, my wife saved the day. Becky walked in while I was writing this, read it over my shoulder and came up with a brilliant catch phrase. Becky is very Irish which covers the international requirement. She said there is a common phrase that has been used in The Celtic Isles for decades, and might be just what I’m looking for. She was right.

Conor McGregor Arrested For Robbery and I’m Tits Up!

Cheers, Marsh

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